Ask the Doctor: Email & Phone Advice
Weekly Marriage Blog. Subscribe Today!
Dr. Clarke on Focus on the Family. Click here to listen.
Facebook Instagram
Weekly Marriage Blog

Departments in Marriage

By Dr. David Clarke, Ph.D

The Big Idea

In a happy marriage, there are certain departments each spouse is responsible for. 

The Teaching

The first year of my marriage to the Blonde(Sandy)was rough.  One of the main reasons was I expected her to do just about everything in the home.  Okay, everything.  My dear mother had done everything for me growing up and seemed to love it.  I figured Sandy would also love to do everything for me.  
She worked at Dallas Seminary full time.  She did all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning up after meals, laundry, and apartment cleaning.  What did I do, besides watch her do all the work?  Well, I was in Seminary, thank you very much and had to concentrate on my studies.  I also had her type all my papers for my classes and Dallas Seminary required about 3 papers a week.  
Sandy finally got tired of being my slave and we had a talk.  Actually, Sandy did all the talking.  I listened and said, "Yes, ma'am", when she was done.  Sandy asked me to start pulling my weight around the home.  In addition to her being exhausted and resentful, it turns out her love language was acts of service. Bummer for me.
This talk was the beginning of us deciding which departments we would each be responsible for.  In Seminary, I did all the laundry and cleaned up after meals.  And, I did all my own papers.  
As we began our life in Tampa and our 4 wonderful kids came along, we adjusted our departments.  I took over the finances(paying bills, investments), mowed the yard, took care of the cars, called repairmen when something in the home broke, and took care of the kids every Wednesday AM and Saturday AM. 
Sandy still did a lot, of course, but these jobs I did helped her feel like we were on the same team.  If she needed extra jobs done, she would tell me and I would do them. 
This week, sit down and discuss what departments each of you are responsible for.  If there need to be adjustments, make them.  If you are sick and tired of doing a certain job, say so and give that job to your spouse.  If you think your spouse isn't doing enough, say so and add jobs to his/her portfolio.  

Ask the Doctor: Email & Phone Advice
Weekly Marriage Blog. Subscribe Today!
Dr. Clarke on Focus on the Family. Click here to listen.
Facebook Instagram
© 2003 - 2019 David E. Clarke, Ph.D. - All Rights Reserved.