The Big Idea
You do not have solid, healthy, intimate communication unless you can talk about every topic.
Using your Couple Talk Time stages(see my book, Honey We Need to Talk), be willing to bring up and discuss every possible topic. Any topic is fair game.
Too many couples place too many topics off-limits. They can't talk about sex. They can't talk about money. They can't talk about spiritual matters. They can't talk about real needs. They can't talk about ___________(fill in the blank).
Whatever topic you do not discuss will be the topic that will destroy your marriage. The problem, the issue, does not go away just because you don't talk about it. In fact, the issue remains and festers and gets worse and kills your intimacy.
Avoiding sensitive topics may help you not to fight, but it will also kill your passion. If you can't discuss areas of disagreement and pain, you can't resolve the underlying issues, and your resentments will grow year after year.
To be a healthy and passionate couple, you must be willing to talk about any topic. You may temporarily put off a conversation, but as soon as possible you need to go to your spouse and say, "I'm ready to talk about that now."
Right now, make a list of topics that you have avoided and ask your spouse to sit down and begin discussing them one at a time. If you cannot successfully talk through these topics and get resolution, find a Christian therapist who can guide you.
If your marriage is in crisis(or you know someone whose marriage is in crisis), I offer phone or email advice sessions. One or two sessions can give you a strategy to get the marriage back on track.
If you want to learn how to communicate on a deeper level, get my book: Honey, We Need to Talk.