The Big Idea
When your sinning spouse does not repent after you have shunned him(or her), it is time to physically separate.
You have gone through four steps of confrontation in Matthew 18:15-17. Your spouse has not repented and will not make any changes. Even before taking these four steps, you have tried everything to get him to love you and talk to you and meet your needs. Nothing has worked.
You can continue to live in misery with a man who does not love you and is emotionally abusing you(which is what many church leaders will recommend). You can continue to beg, plead, cry, nag, and try to drag him to seminars and counselors. Or, you can face the reality that you are married to a dirtball who is slowly destroying you and get away from him.
Leaving him is Biblical. Abigail took dramatic action against her abusive husband(1 Samuel 25). A number of New Testament verses support leaving a serious sinner(Matthew 18:17; Romans 16:17; 1 Corinthians 5; 2 Thessalonians 3:6).
Leaving is last resort, but you are now at the last resort after years of trying with no success. After years of enduring-and enabling-emotional abuse.
Read my book, Enough is Enough: How to Leave an Abusive Relationship. It will be your guide for leaving. It will take time to get ready to leave, but you need to leave. I only go as far as separation. God will have to release you from the marriage. In my Enough is Enough plan, once you and the kids are out, you give your sinning spouse one more chance to repent.
In addition to the book, I have a series of podcasts based on the book. One of my favorite son-in-laws, Phil Dugas of Dugas Creative, produces these podcasts. And, does all my social media and videos.