Has it been months, possibly even a year or more? What do you do?
Well, child is the right term to use. It's time for this child to grow up, man up, or woman up as the case may be and usually it's the young man and join the rest of us working stiffs in the real world.
Here's what you do. If you're married, you have to be lockstep with your spouse.
You sit down with your son and you say, Timmy, we've had enough of you living in our home rent free. You're not getting a job and it's been months. So you have one month to get a job. If you don't, you'll be kicked out of our home. If we have to call the police, that's what we'll do.
Now you also tell him when you secure a job, it's not gonna be your career job it's gonna be a job. I don't care if it's at Wendy's you're going to get a job and you're gonna get out and support yourself.
Once you get the job you'll be leaving. As soon as possible, and if you prove yourself to us and over time we'll continue to help you in certain ways. But we're gonna cut off all support because you need to support yourself.
How can you attract a decent woman when you when you're living at home with Mommy and Daddy?
Now, during this one month, make sure you make Timmy's life as close to a living hell as you can. No snacks, no dessert, and no electronics in his room. If there's a TV in his room, that's your own I don't care If he bought the TV he probably didn't cause he has no money.
The TV is gone. If he likes to play video games like young men do, disconnect it. Make his life very uncomfortable, that's how you handle this.
Now you let him keep his phone only because he has to have the cell phone that you're probably paying for to get the job. But once he's got the job, he'll be off your plan and launched. These failure to launch situations, unless he's got a mental illness or some serious problem like Asberger's or Autism, of course you'd never do this in that case. But if he's a regular, able-bodied young man or woman who is not mentally ill, this is how to handle it.
When you have a failure to launch, you're gonna have to launch them with a kick in the bottom.