top of page

Escaping the Grip of a Narcissistic Marriage and Finding Healing

I was married to a narc for 20 years. I was a pastor 14 of those years, but suffered in silence. He abused me physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually & sexually.

I stayed for so long because I was convinced:

#1 Every man was like him;

#2 I would be doomed to a life of shame if I got divorced

& never be able to be in ministry again;

#3 I had to stay for my kids.

God used my siblings to rescue me in a miraculous way in 2021. Our divorce was final 2022. The healing wasn't automatic or easy, and is in fact still a process, but everyday I wake up & think, "I love my life! Thank you, God for where I am now."

My Christian therapist has been crucial in my healing process! My kids are all thriving as they are experiencing a life of peace instead of anger & trauma.

I am a pastor again & determined to help women find their freedom & healing! If you're on the fence about leaving a narcissistic spouse, trust God to open the door to your freedom & then step through it.

It's worth it!!!


1,204 views7 comments

Recent Posts

See All


My story is similar. This story gives me hope & strength to move !!


You don’t deserve this Hell. God loves you , pastor


I’m encouraged reading this. God please get me out. I started a plan to leave, but he had a bug in my car (it looked like a phone charger) and he listened to that conversation. He has security cameras all around our house and at work (I work for his family business). Now he is love bombing me after the blowup about the bug in the car. Of course, he claims he was just worried I might want to leave and wanted a heads up because I have been acting distant… he says he can’t be alone and is in love with me. This is so sick. What’s worse is my mom thinks I should just “take the …

Replying to

As a trauma therapist my best advice for you is to leave with the clothes on your back and go to a DV shelter. If he’s bugging your car and has his flying monkeys watching you at work, you probably feel trapped. You need an ally, and if you don’t have one, please just go. It doesn’t sound mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually safe for you.


Live And Learn
Live And Learn
Jun 13, 2023

This is partially my story, except I'm the pastor and my wife is a narc. 25 years of her abusing me emotionally, mentally, spiritually, verbally and physically. I am to blame for everything. She never once could accept responsibility for what she had done and still does. Never received and apology. I have stayed for fear of the backlash of family and church community if I leave. So much shame. I talked to pastors and mentors and they all day stay for the kids. Every marriage has problems they say. They don't get what narcissistic abuse is like. It's horrible, and made worse when you have kids. I'm still in. Help 😞

Replying to

Pastor, they will not understand. You know what you need to do, but it’s the trauma bond keeping you there. i support you and pray for your strength. God bless you!

bottom of page