I'm a 62 year old woman. Divorced 9 years, single and focusing on myself. Working part-time. Just got an apartment and living alone for the first time! It's a dream come true! Was married for 35 years, we had five children. I felt like a single parent in that marriage. The red flags were there. I had denied them.
Learning about narcissistic personality disorder is enlightening and validating. I could finally put a name on the unacceptable behavior and face the reality that he wasn't going to change. I had to change. I was holding on to a dream. I had to let go because I wasn't being true to myself. I didn't feel safe, I didn't respect him because he was a fool and I didn't trust him to have my best interests ( nor his own children's) in mind. He only had his own interests in mind. Where there is no trust or respect there is no love. There was so much abuse. Verbal, emotional, financial and neglect. I allowed myself and my kids to go through hell just to keep a roof over our heads.
So I got a job and went back to school and he didn't like it, not one bit. But, I did it anyway because that's what I decided to do. I started to take responsibility for my own happiness. I tried to make our marriage work. I got him to go to counseling a few times but he didn't like it and would cause suck a ruckus when it was time to go making excuses about why he didn't like it and what he didn't want to talk about etc etc etc! Our teenagers had become more mature than he was!
Now I'm doing that I want to do. I am moving forward happily, the best I can and with God's help and supportive friends and family. I see a therapist. I am so glad this information is available for future generations! Thank you Dr. Clarke and other narc aware counselors.